Be Sure To Bring Your Great Ham Salad
Allen August 17th, 2005
My wife’s grandfather passed away some years ago from Alzheimer’s. My cousin’s grandmother is currently suffering from it. And a friend just told me that his grandmother has it as well.
What is so frightening about Alzheimer’s is that it robs you of who you are. If you are dying of cancer, at least you are still you. But Alzheimer’s transmogrifies you into someone else. It’s the modern-day vampire or werewolf bite.
So how to combat it? A rather dark-humored suggestion is noted by Scott-O-Rama ? The Picnic Pact.
Here’s how it works: A group of friends of the Pacer’s decided they would rather check out of this life then lose their minds to senility. They made a pact that once a year they would call one another and invite each other to a picnic. The thing is, there would be no picnic. Instead of a nice lunch outside while enjoying the splendors of nature, they would take you deep into the woods and shoot you. The idea is that if you were invited to this "picnic" and your response was "Hell no!," you proved you still had your mental faculties. You obviously remembered the pact. However if your answer was "A picnic would be lovely, dear," then it was time to fulfill the arrangement and shoot you.
Actually, it struck me that this would be a good premise for a mystery novel.
While this seems a bit drastic, there is a certain dark satisfaction in the knowlege that your last days wouldn’t be spent trying to fend off the attacking Indians (a favorite of my wife’s grandfather).
All said and done, however, don’t sign me up. I’ve already made arrangements for my own picnic.