Dave Barry’s guide to 2003.
My favorites:
FEBRUARY: . . . U.S. coalition-building efforts are dealt a severe blow when France announces that it will not participate in the impending Iraq invasion, a decision that, in the words of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, “could seriously impair our ability to surrender.”
JUNE: Speaking of unhealthy: An outbreak of monkey pox (really) forces federal authorities to ban the sale of, among other animals, Gambian giant pouched rats. It is not immediately clear why anybody would want a giant pouched rat, or why such a person would not deserve to get a disease.